War and Love
by bumpinfangs
Summary: The Goddess of War and Love. You cannot fight without passion and you cannot love without conflict.
1. chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight or the characters. I bow down to Stephanie Meyer!**

**THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A STORY...... LET ME KNOW. MY LIFE IS BUSY AND I MAYBE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO TAKE IT OVER IF THEY FIND IT WORTHY**

I have walked this earth since the mere beginning. I've lived, learned, analyzed and observed the changes of culture and technology from all views of human life but have never loved, but I thought I was falling in love once. There are few who actually believe of my existence, most believe my life a myth. I am the Goddess of War and Love, for you cannot fight without passion and you cannot love without conflict.

I find myself drifting from one city to the next, I've made several cycles across the globe, and yet I have never tired of my life. The world is always changing, there is always something new to learn, see or experience. I'm just lonely. There are other immortal beings but most do not know of me, I actually prefer to be thought of as a myth, it makes life simpler, no one seeks me out. Imagine if my existence was brought to attention, with the conflicts of today's world I am sure I would be sought to be used as a weapon. How could you lose a battle with The God of war on your side? You can't. So I live a simple life, day in and day out, just the location and culture changes.

I am relocating once again, to a small town called Forks. It's located in Washington. It's beautiful really, with the greenery and the views. While it is damp and dreary some days it gives more meaning to those days when the sun graces the area with its presence. I've decided to enroll in school, in a hope to make a friend or two to help ease my loneliness until I decide to move on.

I lived in the area once, about a century ago, in a town called Oak Harbor. I loved being near the ocean, and everything was so green. The people were nice and the area seemed to be calling me to come back. So that is where I find myself now. I am busy finding a home. I am appearing as an emancipated high school senior with a trust fund.

Pulling up the drive of a fair sized, older craftsman style home I can see the realtor has beaten me here. I pull up alongside her red Toyota corolla sedan in my 2009 blood red camaro. (I figured if I am passing myself off as a trust fund kid that I should look the part) It's a manual with black leather interior. There is nothing stock about my vehicle; I enjoy indulging in a few things. Mainly just cars and purses.

Looking up at the house it is a pale yellow with white trim and the doors and window have a natural wood finish. The yard has been well cared for and there is a variety of colored gerbera daisies planted along the stone walk way and along the front and sides of the house. There are some small shrubs planted down along the street and a small group of the varying gerbera daisies circle the little yellow mailbox. Walking up the couple of steps to the front door I take in the fresh air (did I mention I am coming to Forks from Chicago? I love fresh air!) I smile at the little wooden porch swing, and turning the knob I enter what I hope will become my home.

"Hello?" I called out for the realtor, she sounded eager to work with me. I'm assuming it's due to the fact that I offered to pay cash. Hopefully she won't treat me like an idiot. The clicking of heals tells me that I am about to come face to face with a Mrs. Johnson.

"Ms. Swan? Hi, I'm Pam Johnson. It's so nice to finally meet you in person." She appears to be a middle aged woman, with graying hair and hazel eyes. I can tell she is genuinely a lovely person. I can just tell it's a part of me. She is wearing a khaki pant and jacket suit and your everyday generic white button up shirt. But she is wearing blue heals, interesting.

"Hi. Sorry, it seems I was a couple minutes late. I hope you weren't waiting here long." I can't help but apologize; traffic is not one of those things that can really be controlled.

"Actually I only got here a couple of minutes before you did so no problems. What did you think of the outside?" She smiled kindly at me.

"I love the outside, it just looks and feels homey to me, what can you tell me about the inside?" I am already in love with the house, I'm picturing where furniture will go but I don't want to come off to eager. Let's just see where this goes.

"The house has original wood flooring, windows, doors, as well as light and plumbing fixtures. The appliances have been updated but the original owners continued with the vintage appeal. There are three bedrooms, three bathrooms and there is a fireplace in the living room that also shares it's chimney with the fireplace in the master bedroom. There is a small deck off of the master that can be accessed through a set of French doors. There is a bathroom on the lower level, one in the upstairs hall and a master bath that has a claw foot tub. If you'll just follow me I will walk you through the home and answer any additional questions you may have."

So I followed Pam through the home, while deciding paint colors, rugs and room themes. After the tour I shook Pam's hand while discussing the fastest that she could clear me to move in. Soon I will be able to call myself a Forks home owner!

One month of living in a hotel later………………

I'm sitting in the porch swing on MY porch as I watch the moving truck pull up. I've learned over my many moves that anything I deem irreplaceable or value able needs to be transported by me. But I allow my furniture and everything else to be moved. It's just another one of those things that makes my life a little easier.

I have clearly marked every box and piece of furniture so that it can be placed in its room, thus cutting down on having to perform those daunting secondary moving of items that are always irritating. I plan to be completely unpacked in a couple of days. I don't really have much to unpack. It's just sliding furniture and hanging pictures, not to mention hanging up my clothes. Every time I move I give my linens, dishes, food and a good portion of my clothing to charity and then replace them in the new town. I figure it's my part of helping those around me, as well as the economy.

Two hours, four grouchy moving men and a half of Wuthering Heights later the moving men are driving away and I am sliding my "antique" leather couch across the floor so that if faces the fire place. I say "antique" because if you think about how old I am then it seems ridiculous to call anything else "antique". Not to mention that all the furniture I have is at least a hundred years old, and I bought all of it new. My house could be considered an antique dealers wet dream. Wow, now that's a thought. Its times like this I wish I had someone to share my not-so-witty-but-obviously-corny humor. Next on the list, time to set up some shelving and get the radio going, I feel the need to sing and dance my way through unpacking!

Now when it comes to music I am an equal opportunity listener. I've had time to listen to it all and I can honestly say that I have no favorite genre or artist! Hell, I was one of thousands of girls and women who chased the Beatles across the globe. Oh, the memories! But right now I am feeling the need for my current times playlist. It's got a little Fall Out Boy, Hey Monday, All Time Low and Muse….. Hysteria, that's what I'm feeling right now, Muse's Hysteria! Onward with the unpacking! I've got to get this done with enough time to buy the rest of my household items and get ready to start school. My mission, which I have accepted because I have no choice, is to get this done in a week!


	2. Chapter 2

Almost two weeks later…. The day before school………..

My home is now complete. Dishes, linens and clothing have been purchased and are now in their appropriate homes. The furniture is placed, pictures hung and my hope chest is at the end of my bed. That is where I am now. I am sitting in front of my hope chest; its cedar made and intricately carved is a picture of a meadow. Craftsmanship like this can no longer be found, and it holds my oldest and dearest possessions. I run my hand over the flowers that are carved into the top, debating with myself on if I should open it and relive the years that have passed, but decided against it. There is no time for that now. I need to make sure everything is situated because tomorrow is my first day at Forks High. I'll be a senior, again, but it doesn't bother me. I'm able to alter my appearance subtly so I'm able to either complete all four years of high school without question, or I can be a college student. I can't really pass for anything over 25, and that's pushing it. I find myself at the 18/19 year area, I can't exactly remember my exact age.

I learned a long time ago, repeatedly through history actually, that my actual appearance causes me trouble. I'm 5'7", I have long mahogany hair that ends about lower back level, my chocolate cover eyes betray how I am feeling and my long lashes give me a certain look of innocence that draws others to me. My lips are pouty and are a dark pink. I'm lean and muscular and I'm fine with how I look. It's how others view me that become the problem. Ever hear the story of Helen of Troy? That was me. A great misunderstanding, not a love story. Tristan and Isolde? Another misunderstanding, and that's just naming a couple of the instances in history that you may know of. Men fighting over me like I was a prize and only for my beauty, they didn't even know who I really was. Talk about not knowing a person's worth! The incident that caused me to change my appearance though took place nearly 400 years ago in Europe. I thought I was falling in love with a gentle and handsome man and the last time I was supposed to meet with him he had disappeared. I don't know what happened to him, and I don't really want to sound conceited but that was the first time EVER that I had been stood up and I figured it was karma. Now that I had thought I found love, I the Goddess of love and war found love; the universe takes it from me for all the trouble I have caused throughout history. The morning after I boarded a ship for the new world and used my power to alter my appearance. Whereas before I was the world's greatest beauty I now appear slightly lanky, shy, and dull and dare I say geeky. I figured if I ever found love then it would be for who I was, not for how I appeared. Maybe when I find love I will alter back to my true self, but this way I'm sure to find less trouble.

Now many are probably wondering why I am not in love, or why I have let so many great tragedies befall our world and it's about balance. I may be able to offer some influence on a relationship between two people, but I cannot do so for myself. As for war, there are checks and balances that I am not able to touch. I can offer a pull in one direction or another as to help end a conflict, but I cannot keep one from happening. I'm not an all powerful being; love and war exist because I do. I embody them.

I guess I should decide what I am going to wear tomorrow and make sure my backpack is packed and in the car, then shower and to bed. I feel tomorrow will be a long day.

It's 7am. I have eaten, because though I maybe immortal I live like mortals. Food, water, air, the essentials are all part of my day to day routine. Though if I had to go without those my body would adapt and I would just be uncomfortable and bitchy. I am showered and dressed and just waiting a couple more minutes before climbing into my camaro and heading to school. I don't want to appear over eager and be the first person on campus. My hair is dried and straightened, mascara and lip gloss are the only cosmetics I wear day to day and I can't decide what purse to carry! It looks like a black Prada hobo to the rescue. It matches my dark wash skinny jeans and red and white striped ruffled blouse and red ballet flats. Maybe I should use my red Cole Haan ….. Ah! I'll stick with the hobo; I bought it for those days when I can't make up my mind. Crap, 7:30! Time to run out the door.

Pulling into the school parking lot I try to find a spot in the back to try to avoid being watched by the student body that is socializing out-front of the school. I see a spot and notice a silver Volvo a couple of spots down. I have owned several vehicles, but not once could I see myself drive a Volvo, I can't explain it, it just isn't me I guess.

I park and climb out tossing on my black pea coat and picking up my messenger bag and purse and head towards the front of the school. My schedule came to me in the mail but I need to pick up a map and a student calendar. So walking through the small throng of students, up the five steps and through the front door I notice that there are calendar books and maps outside of the office. Good. The less people I have to try to introduce myself to the better off I will be, so okay, technically I am older than dirt, but that doesn't mean I am overly outgoing. I'm still shy.

Finding my first class, AP American Lit, I walk inside and find myself a desk towards the back of the room and sit. I'm not worried about any of the reading assignments because I've read everything the teachers usually offer, but I will probably reread them just to keep myself occupied. I really need to team up with some sort of other immortal just so I could have a friend and keep them long term. Even friends, who are immortal, are hard to keep. I don't usually tell people who I am, just that I am immortal and leave it at that. It's all about keeping life easy and drama free. People do not bode well to make me angry. I may only be able to push or pull a conflict in a certain direction, but when I'm pissed I could literally end the world. It's a good thing that I can't bear children or experience PMS….

I did have a couple of girl friends who were immortal, vampires. One of them was in love with a human named Marc Anthony. The only problem was that Marc was an old world version of McSteamy, a total man whore. He chased me, and though he was extremely attractive I could betray my friend, Tanya, in that fashion. Tanya and her sisters shunned me shortly after I had pretty much told Marc to keep his hands to himself. He died in battle, and the sisters knowing who I actually was believed that I could have prevented his demise. I wish it was true, but I can't give life, nor can I declare the victory that would have kept his life. I have not seen the Denali sisters since. I don't even know if they are still alive, so to speak. I have thought about trying to find them to see if after all this time we could overcome this and resume our friendship but I'm too afraid to see their devastated faces. Oh well I guess…..

I guess while I was reliving my memories class had started because the teacher seemed to be half way through reading through the required reading list that was on my desk. Taking a look around the room I realized that this will be a full class so hopefully I wouldn't be called on too many times throughout the year. I love the first days of school. It's all reading syllabuses and getting to know your "neighbor". It makes for an easy first week usually. Looks like today won't be too different either. My next two classes, gym and geometry flew by and now I walking into the cafeteria trying to spot a table where I can sit by myself and read. I grab a salad and water and make my way to a table on the other side of the cafeteria. All the other tables are full; I wonder why no one is sitting here? Oh well, I'm new, that can be my excuse if someone has a problem with me here.

I've switched books for lunch today. Watership Down, a required read for my lit class, but a favorite of mine. I always found it hilarious, though I can't really explain why. I think it has to do with the fact that there are talking rabbits, but you tell me. I was about to turn the page when I noticed the lunch room became eerily quiet and as I glanced up and looked around me I realized that there were five pairs of golden honey eyes peering at me. I guess I know why no one sat here before. Then I look up again and realize just exactly what I am looking at. Five vegetarian vampires. Huh, just earlier today I was thinking I needed some immortal friends and poof, there's five immortals staring at me.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize this was someone's table. I can move if you'd like." There, more bees with honey I say. If I'm not rude then maybe they will let me stay and introduce myself.

"Um… I guess we should ask you if you'd mind if we join you. Seeing as how you were here first." I looked up to the owner of the musical voice to realize the owner was a boy of about 17 with bronze hair. He was staring at me with his brow furrowed in concentration. The others with him were still staring at me so I nodded and they all pulled out a chair and sat down extremely slowly while continuing to stare at me. What was with the staring?

"You must be Isabella Swan; everyone is talking about the fact that there is a new kid." Smiling at me with a slight bounce was a girl about 5'4" and short, black, choppy hair. She offered a small wave and introduced herself as Alice Cullen.

She continued to introduce her "siblings" while bouncing in her seat, I wonder what was up with that. There was Emmett, a brawny, curly brown haired man about 6'1 and his girlfriend Rosalie. Now Rosalie was beautiful, and I know beauty being the genuine owner. She had the classic hour glass figure, long naturally curled blonde hair and she dressed her part in tight clothing. Edward, the 6'0 owner of the bronze bed head look who I guess was Alice's boyfriend. Last there was Jasper. Standing I'd say he was about 6'1 maybe even a little taller, less brawny than Emmett but diffidently not scrawny and a head of blond locks.

In return I introduced myself as Bella, which was less of a mouthful than Isabella and then proceeded to give them my cover story. When I finished Edward was looking at Jasper and nodded his head so minutely that I thought I may have imagined it. Everyone preceded making small talk and soon the bell rang. I stood to leave when Alice asked what class I had next.

"I have AP history next, how about you guys?"

"Oh, Jasper is in your class. Be careful because he's kind of a know it all when it comes to history." Alice added with a smirk. Oh really? Well than this should be interesting. I wonder how old they all are.

"Really? I consider myself well educated in the world's histories also. It will be nice to have someone to converse and exchange notes with then. I'll see you guys later." And with that I headed off to class but not before I heard Emmett trying to get one of his siblings to bet that I could put Jasper in his place. If he only knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR THE CHARACTERS OF THIS STORY…… ALL I OWN IS MY BORING IMAGINATION!**

**A/N: I realized a little too late that the first two chapters that I had posted were unedited. I'm a moron and I apologize. I will correct that as soon as my laptop is in working order again! Thank you for the reviews. It made me feel special! **

**Keep them coming and I will work on trying to keep the story going…. If only my kids would take a nap at the same time… hmmmmmm………………………. **

I walked into my AP history class and straight to the back row of tables, only to realize that Jasper had beaten me to class and the only vacant seat in the back of the room was next to him. I sighed, dropping my books onto the table and taking the seat. Jasper just sat there, but I knew, that he knew, that I was sitting next to him, and that he was glancing at me from his peripheral. The bell rang loud, gaining my attention and bringing it to the teacher in the front of the room. Mr. McLeod, the teacher droned on and on about the different time periods that he was expecting to cover this semester I noticed that Jasper kept leaning closer and closer to me. It wasn't till a cast a glance at him that I noticed he was smelling me; it kind of reminded me of some snob of a man snorting a glass of wine. I figured now was as good a time as any to break the ice with Jasper, so leaning in closer to him I smirked, turned to face him head on and whispered, "I'm hoping that the attention you are giving me, and by the fact that you seem to be smelling me that I smell pretty damn good, my blood that is."

Jasper turned to face me dead on, eyes wide and then jumped back. I just continued to look at him with a smirk on my face. It wasn't very often that "others" (anyone other than vampires) knew what or who they are and I had just ousted my knowledge of his kind in the middle of a history class that neither of us really had any business being in. I know for a fact that he is younger than me, by a long shot I am sure, but I wonder how much of this history class syllabus he had actually lived through. That goes for the rest of his coven. Maybe I should invite them over to my house after getting to know them a little better so that we can talk without worrying about anyone listening in. I wonder how long it will take them to realize that I'm not exactly normal as well.

He whipped his head to face the head of the glass with a blank expression on his face. If I didn't know any better I would think that I had said nothing, so I pouted that he didn't seem to find it amusing and turned my attention back to class. The rest of the period we sat like that, facing forward, Jasper with his stupid blank expression, I'm sure I looked as if someone insulted my purse. I hope I didn't offend him though; it was my idea of a joke of sorts. It wouldn't do me good to piss off a large group of vampires, my last several decades have been fairly drama free and I'm hoping to keep the lucky streak going.

When the bell rang I picked up my belongings and headed out the door, Jasper seemed to run from the room and I could only help that my mouth didn't get me in any type of trouble for the rest of the day. I had two more classes to suffer through and then the rest of the day I could spend relaxing at home. So with that thought I straightened my back and walked into World Politics with Ms. Tallmadge, wow she's really young looking. Great the only seat left is near the front of the room. Though that doesn't seem as bad of a thing in this class, the desks are split into two and they face each other creating a giant aisle down the middle of the room. There are a lot of other students near the front and the rows are only three deep so I guess there really isn't a seat in the back. Sitting back and looking around I notice that Edward and Alice Cullen are sitting in back of the rows across from me and Edward seems to have a staring problem. I just raise an eye brow in a silent "what are you looking at" gesture and then turn away to pay attention to poor Ms. Tallmadge, I'm sure half the students she has won't listen simply because she looks like she is fresh out of college.

Covering the ever lovely syllabus, the class is informed that there will be a group project due mid semester and that it will weigh heavily on our grade. Great, I wonder who I'll be paired with, and I wonder what the project will be on. Well we will just have to wait and see. Ugh, I'm bored and I really really want to go home! At least the bell is about to ring and all I have to do is make it through Biology before I am free for the day.

I'm walking to biology and I can't help but wonder why this campus is so spread out. There is five minutes to walk from one class to the next, not all the walk ways are covered walk ways and it's raining outside. I guess that is an incentive to hurry. I'm not going to melt but this weather will do horrible things to my hair.

I made it to class, on time and not completely soaked and I guess it could be worse.

Once again I find myself walking to take a seat at one of the back tables noticing that the class is only about half full and the bell will ring in about a minute. Sitting down and searching through my bag I hear a throat clear and turning towards the sound I notice a blonde haired, blue eyed, baby faced boy sitting on my table. He introduces himself as Mike Newton and I can't help but feel as by the tone of his voice that I should know who he is. Who is he? Oh well, I'm sure I'll learn about a few people here in school. It doesn't hurt to make some friends. I smile kindly and introduce myself as Bella and he gives me a cheeky smile. I think he's flirting, but I can't really be sure.

Another throat clears and sitting next to me is none other than Edward Cullen. Am I being stocked by these vampires simply because I sat at their lunch table? I doubt it but still. He glances at me then his face hardens and with a glare at Mike he says "Mike could you possibly go find your seat so I may sit in mine?" Mike responds by turning from me to Edward then sulks off to his seat near the end of the room.

"Thank you Edward and I must say it's nice to have another familiar face." I smile over at him.

"It is not a problem. I'm glad I could be of some assistance." He still looks like he's concentrating hard on something.

"Such a gentleman" He just raises an eyebrow while a smirk graces his face. I bet it has to do from the era in which he was raised. People don't speak and act so cordially towards each other anymore, and I swear I heard him chuckle as I was turning towards the front of the class.

In walks an older, frizzy red headed woman who introduces herself as Mrs. Boatman. She seems to have aged well and there is a gentle smile upon her mouth. Then it happens……..

"Alright everyone, today we have a new student, Isabella Swan if you could please stand and introduce yourself." Mrs. Boatman takes a seat at her desk in the front of the room and everyone pivots to look towards me.

I stand up nervously and I know that I'm blushing, damn it! I was hoping this wouldn't happen, I made it all the way to the last class and then of course Mrs. Boatman, a woman who resembles and elderly Miss Frizzle from that Magic School Bus show burst my little bubble of happiness from going unmentioned!

"I'm Bella; I moved here recently but am familiar with the Pacific Northwest area." With that I sit back down and Edward is staring at me again. What is with the Cullen's and staring? Have they figured out I'm immortal? I know my blood smells good, but it doesn't seem to make vampires thirsty. Have they never seen a non-vampire immortal before?

I'm reviewing my last syllabus for the day noticing that there is a permission slip attached for our parents so that we can participate in a blood typing lab. That will freak Edward out for sure, there would be no way for me to hide the fact that I'm different then. I bet that he won't participate though, it's obviously that they are very controlled but you can really only push your luck so far.

Walking towards my car at the end of the day I notice two things. The first is that there is a small group of people, that is rapidly growing, that seem to be admiring my car. The second is that Alice Cullen is standing off to the side and it seems as if she is waiting for me. I wonder what she could possibly want.


	4. Chapter 4

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR its CHARACTERS. **

**I don't think I realized how hard it was going to be to write a story, I can't even stick to my own outline. I haven't since the end of the first paragraph in chapter one. Every time I start writing my fingers seems to acquire a mind of their own. I guess my brain and hands can't agree on how the story should go. Any suggestions or things you might want to see happen please let me know. Who knows where this story could go, I just want everyone to enjoy it.**

**And cross my fingers but I haven't had any negative reviews yet, and please don't take this as an invitation to do so……… You can't see me but I'm knocking on my wood desk while typing with one hand.**

**Let's follow the wet Forks road to see where this could go….**

I stroll up to my car, pushing through the band of drooling boys that are in my way and over to where Alice is standing. It seems that the closer I get to her the more she starts bouncing in place. I wish I had that kind of energy but as it is I'm wishing for a nap, or some coffee. I have a couple of minor assignments to get through tonight for my classes tomorrow and I don't want to fall asleep before I get the chance to even start on them.

"Um, hi Alice. How's it going?" I give her a small smile and my mind is trying to figure out what she could possibly want from me.

"Bella, I'm so glad that I caught you before you headed home. Rosalie and I were planning on heading up to Port Angeles for some shopping this weekend and wanted to know if you might want to join us." She is so cheery. It's contagious. It seems a little weird since it's only my first day but I did say that I wouldn't mind some friends that were my _type_. This could be the first step.

"That sounds great Alice. Do you want to work the details out now or maybe we could sit together at lunch tomorrow and discuss it with Rosalie if you would like."

"Oh, well everyone is waiting on me so we can head home so let's just get together at lunch tomorrow. Talk to your parents and make sure that its okay."

I hesitate for just a moment but it seems it was a moment too long because Alice cocks her head to the side while she is waiting for me to respond. I'm sure this will raise some eyebrows in this tiny little town.

"I live alone Alice so I'm sure it's fine that I go." I say with a smile and a little bit of sarcasm in my voice. HA! I knew it, one perfectly groomed eye brow raises but she slowly smiles at me and nods yes. I glance around and notice that there are others who have heard me and they also are giving me curious looks, arched eye brows included.

"Okay, well I need to get going but I will see you tomorrow Bella. Have fun getting the guys out of your way when you leave." With that she dances off and I turn to face the now large group of people ogling my car. Don't these people have homes to go to or something? I push my way through and turn to everyone smiling and yell "I'm leaving now, can you _please _move out of the way?"

Okay, it took almost ten minutes for the crowd to disperse so that I could back out of my parking space and head towards the exit. Turning up the radio and waiting to get my turn at the exit I roll down my window to let the breeze pass through. Cobra Starship's Church of Hot Addiction starts and I start singing as I notice that the Cullen's are still here and Alice and Rosalie seem to be arguing about something and they guys are just standing there glancing around. As the first lines of the song starts I start singing and all the Cullen's all turn and look at me….

**So just tell me hey…..**

**Have you heard of my religion……..** I turn and look at all of them, a joyous but extremely sarcastic smile on my face. All the while I'm thinking _I know something you don't know…._

**It's called the church of hot addiction **

**And we believe that God lust after everything… **I am that lust, and I'm a God! Smirking look in place as Jasper looks at me curiously I wink and drive off. Let them wonder. For the first time in more years than I care to think about it feels good to add a little bit of mischief to my life.

I continue to sing all the way home and for the first time in a long time I think about what it would be like to be myself, to not have to hide from everyone and to have a conversation about all the things I've seen and people I've known or met without worrying about giving someone a heart attack.

Pulling up at home I continue to think of the possibilities and decided that I am now in an all Cobra Starship mood. Perfect for homework and cleaning. Tomorrow is another day.

**A/N: I love Cobra Starship and I apologize that this chapter is a little short. I have my music going and I know feel the need to dance around the house.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! BUT I DO HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN BECAUSE SHE ISN'T GETTING TO BE A VAMPIRE FOR HALLOWEEN AND MY MOM IS TEAM JACOB….**

**A/N: WHEN I MENTION SONGS I WON'T PUT ALL THE LYRICS DOWN, JUST THE PARTS THAT I REALLY ENJOY (I AM A SUCKER FOR "DIFFERENT" LYRICS, FEEL FREE TO SHARE SONG INFO WITH ME). I FIGURE YOU CAN LOOK THE SONG UP YOURSELVES IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR IT. HELL, I'LL SHARE MY PERSONAL PLAY LIST.**

**AND FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ASKED ABOUT MY PEN NAME…. JUST THINK BUMPIN' UGLIES, AND IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO YOU MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE READING "M" RATED STORIES….. **

My homework didn't take me long to do and either did my cleaning, so I was left with a lot of time to just think.

I don't know what caused me to be so bold towards Jasper, or why I left the parking lot in the fashion that I had. It's been a long time since I have been able to devious, and I missed it! I may need to throttle back a bit, but I don't need to be quite so shy, the Cullen's seem nice enough and they can't hurt me. The worse that could happen is that I would need to pack up and leave again.

It's another rainy day in Forks. Surprise! Surprise! Pulling into the school parking lot I can see the Cullen's are already here, and again Alice seems to be waiting for me. Her "siblings" are standing off to the side somewhat and dare I say that Jasper looks nervous. Well, I decided last night that I don't need to hide from them and that this is probably a new scenario for them so I'm going to need to step my game up a bit.

I park, climb out of my car and head towards Alice with a smile on my face. I'm ready to through some more curve balls, I feel feisty and excited. It looks like Alice is heavily into fashion judging by yesterdays and today's outfits; let's see where I can take this….

"Hey Alice, aren't you worried about wrecking those Luboutin suede boots in all this rain?" I'm smirking and I notice that Rosalie seems to be giving me a once over. She is probably wondering how the hell I know what Alice's shoes since I'm sporting some white and hot pink puma sneakers today. Nothing like a good pair of jeans, a band tee, and a good sweatshirt to make everyone think I can't dress myself. Just wait till they see my band tee…..

Alice's smile grows and she adds a little more bounce to her step as she heads towards me. "I can't live without heels and I'll just replace them if need be. You know Luboutin?" She obviously doesn't think I can dress myself. There is nothing wrong with comfort and I know I look cute. Plus, I'm sure I would draw more attention to myself if I was dressed label from head to toe. This is Forks, I'm not sure if anyone around here could truly admire her boots for what they are.

"Alice, what self respecting woman doesn't know a great pair of shoes, and at least a couple of designers? You really should come check my closet out sometime, I'm sure I could surprise you." Did I just invite someone to my home? Crap, I think I did.

"I'll have to take you up on that. Though it takes an awful lot to surprise me, in fact it's been _ages _since I've had a good surprise." I get the meaning of her words, I wonder if any of them are gifted? I can hear her siblings laughing quietly behind her. I wonder what that's about.

"I'm just full of surprises. I'll make a bet with you even." Once the word _bet _is mentioned the other Cullen's start walking over to join us. This is going to be good, I can tell. I don't want to play the guessing game with them and leave them worried that I might be a threat so I devised a plan for today. Let's just say that by the end of today they will at least know that I'm immortal and not a threat. This is going to be great!!!

"Did we hear something about a bet?" Emmett seems excited and overly curious. In fact they all are smiling. I'm beginning to get the feeling that I'm missing something here.

"I was just telling Alice that I was full of surprises, and I bet that I can surprise her more than once today before the day is done. What do you say Alice? You did say it had been _ages_ since you have been surprised." I've got a shit eating grin on my face and my eye brow is close to my hair line. I just hope they play along; I want to have some fun. I'm tired of playing the shy human all of the time. Nothing against humans, but it's hard to always have to play myself down. I remember when people used to make sacrifices in my name, when they would pray to me, when I was sought after and glorified. I can't say I really miss those days, but it's nice to be appreciated and I know that the Cullen's probably think I am a child but I'm pretty sure that I am in fact much older than at least a couple of them, if not all of them.

"I'll take that bet Bella, but what are the stakes?" Hmmm… Good question. I hadn't really thought that far, and I voice it aloud.

"How about whoever wins gets to drive to Port Angeles this weekend?" That's not a bad thought Alice.

"Deal. So starting now you better be ready because I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Oh, and Jasper, I'm sorry about yesterday." I offer a small smile and glance down at my shoes. I didn't really mean to come off like a bitch or anything. When I glance up Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward are all looking at Jasper while Jasper just shrugs and is looking at me. Did he not tell them what I said? Now Edward is staring at Jasper, the same strained look on his face that he wears when he is staring at me.

Faster than I realize Edward whips his head around to look at me with wide eyes. I know Jasper didn't just tell them, I would have heard him even if he used vampire pitch. What is going on now?

"What the hell does that mean?" Edward asks Jasper then back to me.

"Huh?" I'm a little lost, might as well voice it?

Everyone is looking between Edward, Jasper and me. They look slight less lost than I am.

"Edward, not now. We can discuss this later at home." Wow, I just noticed the southern twang to Jasper's voice, and I like it, a lot.

Alice decides to break up the glaring contest by reminding us that the bell will be ringing and that we need to get to class.

As I turn to head towards the building and call out over my shoulder "Alice, I'll have a surprise for all of you at lunch." With that I wink at them and run towards the building.

Classes go by, homework is turned in and Mike Newton won't quit staring or following me. He keeps offering to walk me to each of my classes even though he isn't in them and he even offered to sit with me at lunch. I just let him know that he is more than welcome to join me and the Cullen's at lunch; he paled a little and declined.

So now I am on my way to the cafeteria and I grab a salad and vitamin water. Looking around I see that today the Cullen's have beaten me to a table and Alice is waving me over. I can tell this is going to be good.

"Hey guys." Formalities. I may not be as proper as I could be, but some sort of greeting is appropriate.

"Hey Bella. So I'm ready to be surprised" Alice has a genuine smile on her face, she must not be kidding about the whole "no surprise" thing. I just hope I don't upset them.

"Here, let me make a guess. Is it a puppy?" Oh Emmett, you have just opened yourselves up for it now. Here comes surprise number one.

"If it was a puppy I would have to bring one for each of you, it wouldn't be fair if you were the only one who got a snack during school hours now would it?" Smirk in place, eye brow arched and so starts the awkward and frightened staring. Crap.

They are looking at me as I sit between Jasper and Alice. As my smirk starts to fade Emmett begins laughing hysterically. Rose looks pissed, Edward worried, Alice had a small smile starting, but I think that Emmett is rubbing off on her and Jasper is looking down on me with a look that I presume is to scare me maybe, he looks really uncomfortable.

Alice starts giggling and I hear her "Touché'! Bella 1 Alice 0!" So I start giggling. Edward seems to relax and tosses his arm around Alice, they must be mates. It's obvious that Rose and Emmett are mates. You would have to be blind, deaf and stupid not to know about them.

Looking back up at Jasper he seems to have relaxed a little, but he is still looking at me oddly.

"You know about us?" He asks. I thought it was obvious.

"Yes I know what you are, and what you eat. And no I won't tell you how until later." I rebut. Jasper frowns slightly as do the rest of them. I don't want the fun to stop. That lunch joke was a last minute thing; it wasn't part of the plan. Emmett just left them wide open and I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

"So if it's not lunch then what's the surprise?" Emmett asks. Looks like he seems to have calmed down, but Rosalie is scowling at me. Whatever.

"It won't be obvious." Is all I tell them. This is my plan. I unzip my sweatshirt and lay it over the back of my seat. I turn back around pick up my fork and start eating my salad. As I slowly glance around the table it's obvious that they are all confused except for Jasper who is staring at me but then he asks me the question I've been waiting for.

"Where did you get that shirt? I've never seen one like it and I'm a huge fan, and it's autographed?"

Yes! I knew at least one of them would notice. Hopefully he play along, I can't wait to see everyone's faces when they figure it out.

"Yes it's autographed, and I got it at a concert." I reply, to which Jasper's eyebrows lift significantly high while the others all lean in to see the bottom half of my shirt.

"What concert was that?" Jasper asks. He's playing along perfectly. Here's the surprise everyone!

"A Beatles concert of course. How else would it have gotten autographed?" I shake my head a little and take another bite of my salad.

"A Beatles concert? I don't understand. You have all four autographs but there is no way possible to get Lennon's signature." Keep going Jasper you are on a roll.

"Yes a Beatles concert, I got it signed when I saw them in '63. It pays to get backstage, or at least it used to. Artist these days just don't react to fans the way that they used to." Slowly I look up from my lunch and look around the table, every single Cullen has their mouth hanging open slightly and eyebrows raised. Raised eyebrows really are my favorite facial expression. I find them hilarious and a dead give away to emotion.

"You saw the Beatles in '63 and were backstage? Care to explain how you managed that?" Looks like Jasper has become the spokes person for the group today.

I lean in a little and wave them to do the same like I'm going to tell the world's biggest secret and I whisper out "because I'm immortal also, and I had a huge crush on Paul. I was part of Beatle mania."

With that I sit back giggling as they all sit back and stare. I just smile and hold my hand up, two fingers wiggling.

**I LOVE THE **BEATLES! AND I WISH I WAS PART OF BEATLE MANIA, BUT THE CLOSEST I WILL GET IS MY BEATLES ROCKBAND.


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing…. I'm just a really bored "domestic goddess"**

**I have a partner in crime now, LilHill! **

I just leaned back into my seat with my smart ass smirk and took in their confused faces. This really was funny, I couldn't help it I giggled. Once the giggle escaped my mouth Jasper's head snapped to me. His confused expression quickly changed to fury and just as quickly as Jasper's mood had changed the smirk vanished from my face. I was now worried and confused, but that quickly changed and I settled for being irritated!

As Jasper and I continued to glare at eachother I completely forgot about the others at our table. Our glaring was quickly turning into a staring match. What were we? Five year olds? I was becoming amused. Neither of us would actually lose by blinking, neither of us needed to, it was more about who would get irritated and turn away. They should turn this type of thing into a show, like, "So you think you can stare" or something. So I settled into my seat, I could be here for awhile, and raised an eye brow to the silent challenge.

It couldn't have been more than five minutes before I was quickly reminded of the others at the table. Alice was giggling and the others seemed to figure out was going on. Emmett took it upon himself to be a sportscaster for the event. I guess they weren't too terribly mad at me, or atleast not all of them. Rosalie had not taken her eyes off of me and she seemed pissed and I couldn't see Edward but I hadn't heard him either, my peripheral didn't allow for me to see his face.

"Ladies, gentleman and immortals, welcome the the big show!" Emmett seemed to be enjoying himself, the immortal part just a quick whisper tossed into his headline.

"In this corner we have the McCartney Leg Humper, a mystery to all coming to us from…. Who the hell knows……. And in this corner we have Major Whitlock, a silent boy who has more emotions than a prepubescent human! Now I expect a good clean match, no touching or speaking of any kind. Everything else is fare game. Now let's get it on!" Emmett had been using a spoon for a microphone for his little rant, he's hilarious! McCartney Leg Humper? I get that, I get the mystery and the not knowing where I'm from, just a subtle reminder that they had questions for me. But Major? And what's with the emotional bit? Is that Emmett's way of being moody? And if we can't touch or speak what else is Emmett leaving out there for us to use? Now I have my own question. They don't know anything about me but it would be unfair to use my gift, I'll just have to wait this out, or maybe give when the bell rings.

Well I can think of a benefit to this. I can stare at Jasper and not worry about getting caught. He really is handsome. Handsome isn't really enough. His eyes call to me, they tell me that there is so much inside, but he comes off as private and so quiet. As I continue to stare at him I can feel my attraction growing and I haven't felt a pull to anyone like this for a long time. And he's blond. It's obvious his body it exquisite, hiding beneath the long sleeve shirt he's wearing. I think it's getting a little warm in here… and just as that thought passes Jasper's eyebrows head to his hairline. Can he tell the effect he has on me? Edward is chuckling quietly, why? I feel like I'm missing something.

"Oh, do it Jazz!" Alice shouts out. Do what? Edwards chuckling is growing louder, Emmett is laughing and Rosalie still looks pissed but a smirk is starting to form. What have I gotten myself into?

All of sudden I start feeling giddy, what the hell! What's going on? It's getting stronger, this whole situation is funny but I feel like I'm about to start to double over and laugh! Someone is fucking with me, and it's got to be Jasper! This is what Emmett was talking about, hey, if they want to fight dirty I can play that way!

I don't have any truly extraordinary gifts but I have a shield. It keeps my mind safe from others, like those assholes in Italy! But that's a story for another time. I need to concentrate on Jasper. I'll just push my shield off of myself and encase Jasper. He won't know something has happened till it's too late.

All of a sudden Jasper starts smiling. HA! All that damn giddiness is now flowing around him! See how he likes it. He has a gorgeous smile! Why doesn't he smile more often? I haven't seen a smile that touched my heart in centuries!

Simultaneously Emmett and Edward both start speaking and its startling………..

"Centuries huh?" What is Edward talking about…….. Shit Jaspers smile, I was just thinking……

"Who knew the great God of War could smile" God of War? Uh oh! What does Emmett know?

I quickly release Jasper and wrap my shield around myself. What the Fuck is going on here? Okay, let's not freak out, let's just play this out and test the waters.

"God of War?" I ask Emmett, but it's Jasper who answers. I turn to face him and there seems to be a little bit of awe in his voice. Hmmm…. Is he impressed with my defensive tactics? I hope so.

"It's just a nickname of mine." Jasper responds. He looks indifferent now, and I want to ask how he got it because the circumstances just call for it, but I can tell that right now isn't the right time.

"Oh". I'm smiling as I reply. The circumstances are humorous indeed. Now let's see what we can get from Edward.

"Yes centuries, Edward. I've been around for awhile. Have you been able to read me all along?" I can't help but be slightly worried. What if can see everything?

"He doesn't do it often if you want to know, and no I haven't been able to read you all along, just that small moment." Everyone is looking back between Edward and me, no doubt wanting to know what we are talking about.

I just nod in acceptance; I'll need to remember that from now on. "Such a shame isn't it? To live without doing that every day?" I ask Edward. He smiles; he knows I'm purposely messing with the others now.

"It really is. In the last couple of days it has happened a couple of times." Really? I chance a peek at Jasper and he's smiling a little.

Alice and Emmett look put out but finally Alice asks what we are talking about. Edward wraps an arm around her and turns to me and raises his brow.

"Nothing." I quickly toss out. I don't need to embarrass myself.

"I really hate that crap Edward!" Emmett's pouting, he kind of reminds me of a put out child and I smile at him.

Now Rosalie has been sitting and stewing and she must have hit her limit.

"What the hell are you? You aren't one of us? How do you expect us all to be all buddy buddy with you? How do we know you aren't a threat?" She snaps at me. That's all understandable though.

"I know you have a lot of questions and you must be curious about me, and I promise I'm not a threat." Shes still glaring at me, I want to appease her fears but this is hardly the place for such a discussion. As I'm about to voice as much she turns towards to Jasper and he's gently shaking his head no.

"Jasper what is your gift?" I ask.

"Empath. I can feel and manipulate emotions of others." Oh boy, he felt everything from when I was staring and I feel a blush sweeping my cheeks. He just smirks.

"Look she blushes, isn't that adorable?" Ugh, Emmett I want to smack you! This is so embarrassing.

"Oooh! It's getting redder!" Damn Alice! Now they are all laughing, with the exception of Rosalie.

"Stupid non-blushing vampires" I mumble under my breath and now they are really laughing at me, they aren't even trying to hide it.

Screw this; I'm heading to class early. I glance across the room and the bell will ring in three minutes. As I stand to leave they all become quiet.

"I'm heading to class, see you guys later." I grumble and I start to leave. As I'm nearing the door Alice calls out to me.

"Hey Bella, you won. You can drive." I just offer a small smile and continue on my way.

I make it to class and take my seat and figure I'll just take these couple of minutes to think. I'm not mad. I'm embarrassed. This whole situation is new to me, Jasper knew what I was feeling so he obviously knows I'm attracted to him and Edward caught a glimpse of my thoughts so he knows why I was blushing. This sucks! And before I can think about all of it any further Jasper sits next to me.

"I'm sorry they embarrassed you like that." He offers quietly.

"It's okay, I guess. They weren't being hurtful, and I'm used to people making cracks at my blush, it's just been awhile."

"Can I ask you a question?" I look at him and he gives away nothing as to what his question may be.

"Sure, but I can't guarantee and answer." Way to cover my ass I think to myself.

"What were you and Edward talking about? I mean, I'm pretty sure it's' about me." Crap, not a question I really want to answer right now. Just as I'm about to say something the bell cuts me off and class is starting.

"Later okay?" It's the best I can offer right now and he nods in agreement.

The teacher calls class to order and we are told that starting next week we are going to begin covering European history. Beginning with the Greeks. This ought to be fun, how much can they get wrong this time? We're told that there will be a partner project and that the person we are sitting with will be our partner. I look over at Jasper and he offers me a small smile and I offer him one in return. At least my partner isn't an idiot. The rest of class is spent going over different things we would be covering and just as the bell rang the teacher threw a doozy!

"And class, for a bit of fun we will be also covering Greek mythology, my personal favorite. We will discuss it more tomorrow so that you can think about your projects over the weekend." Well now what? I can't remember the last time a history class actually covered Greek mythology. What else can today offer?

World politics flew by and now I'm on my way to biology. Here is a lesson for the masses! Don't ever ask yourself what else can happen because you may just become inflicted with a horrible case of Mike "the dill hole" Newton. Let me explain.

I walk into class and notice that my table is empty so Edward hasn't arrived yet. As I sit down who happens to hop onto my desk? "The dill hole" in his entire baby faced glory. Now he may be blonde but there is no attraction there. Never will be either! He's giving me a cocky smirk, no where near as alluring as Jasper's, and in a voice that sounds slightly disturbing asks the question that is icing to my shitty day.

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you would go out with me this weekend." Yeah, see the icing. It's gross huh? But wait, I pulled the stupid card when I shot back by asking "like a Date?"

"Yeah. I was thinking dinner, movie and then a stop by the cliffs on the rez. Sound good to you?"

Did he just wiggle his eyebrows? No one is that stupid are they?

"I have plans with the Cullen's this weekend Mike, sorry" I might be ready to vomit but I didn't want to come off as a total bitch.

"Maybe next weekend then?" He didn't even have the brain to attempt to look hopeful. I could feel the lust; he was thinking I would say yes as long as I wasn't already busy. In the words of Izzie Stevens, "seriously?"

"I'm sorry Mike I'm just not interested." Just as the words finished Edward came in and once again scared Mike off! Thank you Zeus!

Once Edward got seated and situated he turned to me and let me know that his siblings were all wondering what we were discussing earlier at lunch and that they were all pretty sure it was about Jasper. Oh here comes that all too familiar blush, maybe I should just go live under a rock somewhere.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I just couldn't help myself earlier. We don't socialize with many other immortals and it's not very often that I use my _gift_ to embarrass people." I could tell he was sincere.

"It's okay, really." Like I said, I wasn't mad.

The rest of class passed by copying notes on the board and after the bell rang all I could think was that I really wanted a pumpkin spice Krispy Kreme and relax. Tomorrow was Friday and I had plans with Alice, and hopefully Rosalie, for Saturday and possibly Sunday. Hopefully tomorrow is better than today.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR its CHARACTERS, BUT IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY I CAN'T SAY THAT I WOULDN'T HOLD A COUPLE OF THE MEN HOSTAGE! ;)

SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY IN UPDATING. MY LAP TOP DIED SO I'M NOW SHARING WITH MY HUSBAND AND I ALSO TEND TO WAIT FOR SOME SORT OF EPIPHANY OR INSPIRATION TO STRIKE INSTEAD OF JUST TRYING TO FORCE A CHAPTER OUT. BUT I WILL TRY TO GET CHAPTERS OUT A LITTLE CLOSER TOGETHER. I APOLOGIZE.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME, TO READ THE KIND WORDS THAT YOU SEND ME. IT LETS ME KNOW IM DOING ATLEAST AN OKAY JOB. KEEP 'EM COMING!!!

I got home and collapsed onto the sofa. What was I doing? 24 hours ago I had decided that I was going to attempt to reclaim my "balls to the wall" persona, but where did that get me? I know where. I wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear. Let's recap today shall we:

First I decided that I was going to, in a smart assed way, let the Cullen's know that I was aware of what they were, and that I to was immortal. Which seemed to piss off some members of the "family". (That sounds kind of mobbish doesn't it? _The family.)_

Secondly, I got into a somewhat epic stare down with a vampire that was referred to "God of War" which, to me, was funny. Even if no one else got the joke.

Third, I find out that some of the Cullen's are gifted. Jasper has now felt my attraction, but I don't know if he can tell if it's for him or not, and Edward got a glimpse into my head when I was thinking about Jasper.

Fourth. For the first time in _this _century I was once again the butt end of humor because of my blush. I wish I had power over it. How stupid is it to be immortal, lived longer than vampires have existed and be made fun of for blushing? STUPID!

Fifth, which is finally something on a good note, I seem to be becoming friends with Edward. It's nice to make friends, ones that I don't have to be completely closed off to. Friends that I could share with, the things I have seen in my long existence, without scaring the crap out of them. Some things though, are too disturbing to share, even with vampires.

And last but not least, I am attracted to Jasper! It has been a long, long time since I have felt anything other than friendship towards anyone. But for all I know he may have a mate, which would really suck. No pun intended.

All this thinking and reflecting must have taken awhile. I chance a glance outside to find that it is late evening and clock on my wall confirms that its 8:45. I'm hungry and make myself a Greek salad. I know what you're thinking. Greek salad, Greek Goddess….. But can I help it if the mixture of spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta cheese and olive oil call to me? Don't knock it until you try it!

After I finish my salad, pack the rest for lunch tomorrow and clean the kitchen I go back to thinking about Jasper. He has an air about him, and a look in his eyes. Like he has seen so much. A look much like the one I wear. We've seen too much, so much more than others around us, and the others would never understand. I can't help but to wonder what his story is. Maybe someday we can share our stories with each other, after we have formed some sort of relationship.

I won't lie. I'm lonely. Everyone, human or mythological searches for that someone to share their version of forever with. I would give my immortality for it, to share a bond so great with another. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if maybe it isn't for me to find that in this life. Baby steps. Hell, I don't even know if he is single, I don't even know _him. _Sure he is easy on the eyes, but that doesn't make us compatible. I guess only time will tell.

I'm emotionally exhausted and my brain feels like jello. Emotionally exhausted…. That reminds me of a line from M.A.S.H. "_Emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt" I_ change into a t-shirt and pajama pants and climb into bed. I write about the things that have happened since school has started in my journal. It's relaxing, and sometimes writing things out just helps. Puts them into perspective. When all is said and done I still get a solid nights rest before my alarm goes off and it's time to once again to face the hell that is Forks' High School.

I pull up, climb out and take a glance around the parking lot and notice that the Cullen's don't seem to be here yet. I decide to wait a couple of minutes to see if they show up and it doesn't really take more than two minutes before the familiar shiny Volvo pulls into next to me. I wonder if it's a tight fit for the five of them to squeeze in there and how unfortunate for Alice that she seems to be stuck in the back seat while her mate drives, not to mention that Rosalie and Emmett have the small pixie between them. It's like a group of graceful clowns crawling out of a clown car. Jasper seems like he is unfolding his legs as he climbs out of the passenger seat. I wonder if he rides motorcycles. I'll have to ask, and if he hasn't really tried I can offer mine. Nothing special, just a red and silver BMW HP2 megamoto.

I walk around my car to the Volvo and am greeted with a chorus of "hey Bella's'" and we head towards the school and our classes.

The first part of the day passed quietly, just creepy, stalker like staring from Mike and the continuous dirty looks of every girl around me but nothing major. Soon enough its lunch and I head to the now familiar table to sit with the Cullen's, who are all present and seem to be waiting for me this time. I plop down and pull out my salad and sit back. Lunch time is an unpaid break, think about it. Classes, unpaid lunch/break, classes, homework, sleep and then you start it all over again. Too bad you can't get paid for going to high school. Think about what that income would add up to if you were like me. Why would I ever need a job?

I look up as I start eating my salad and Alice is looking up at Edward as she curls into his side and he's nodding, a silent conversation seems to be taking place. The look happy and content together, two pieces of the same puzzle. It must be nice. Emmett and Rosalie appear much the same way as I look at them. Emmett catches my eye and a small mischievous smile forms and he winks at me and all I can do is shudder. Who knows what that look means but I can't help to fear it a little.

As if sensing my fear Jasper turns towards me "are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, Emmett just gave me a creepy smile, that's all."

"Be careful, he's feeling mischievous for some reason."

"I figured as much" I respond and start eating my salad again while keeping an eye on Emmett.

While watching Emmett I'm broken out of my gaze by Rosalie, maybe she doesn't have as big of a problem with me as I thought she did.

"So Bella, can you tell us about yourself?" she asks.

I swallow and look at her for a moment "um, I guess so. What do you want to know exactly?"

"Anything really, we don't know much about you. Where are you from?" she says.

"What makes you immortal? "Comes from Edward.

"How long have you existed?" Asks Jasper

And Alice just sits back and smiles at me. There is something up with her, and I'm going to find out what it is…

"Okay. Okay, one at a time, please. I'm from Greece. As for what makes me immortal, I was born this way, I guess you could say." _Born _works right? I was created or born, however you choose to look at it.

"How old are you?" Jasper must really be hung up on age or something. That whole "balls to the wall" thing coming back to play and I say, straight faced and completely serious "Old enough that compared to you I am a cougar and you are the prepubescent, pimpled face high school boy."

"So you could be my sugar momma?" Emmett. Enough said.

I turn towards Emmett, I can play his game. Sultry smirk on my face, raised eye brow and I lean forward across the table towards him. "Baby boy I could show you things that have been outlawed for centuries, all you have to do is ask."

Emmett is speechless, mouth hanging wide open. Rosalie reaches over, places her fingers under his chin and helps him to close his mouth.

Alice is giggling while clinging on to the arm of a quietly laughing Edward.

"I think I like her." Rosalie says to no one in particular. I smile at her and offer my thanks.

"If you like her, can we bring her home? I can be an eager student." Emmett asks, which Rosalie answers with a smack to the back of his head.

"You can't handle me Emmett, trust me."

The entire time Jasper has been quiet through the entire exchange. I wonder what's going through that mind of his. I turn to look up at him and he's just quietly looking at me. It looks like he's trying to find something; like I'm hiding a secret and he would be able to figure it out by looking into my eyes.

"Does that answer your question Jasper?" I ask him quietly. He continues to look straight into my eyes.

"I was kind of looking for a number, but I realize that that is sort of rude of me to ask." He says sheepishly.

"Does it matter? I'm older than you." I respond, as we carry on our quiet conversation.

"How do you know you are older than us? Do you know how old we are? I could just look really good for my age." Emmett exclaims. Always curious.

It's obvious that Emmett and Jasper aren't the only ones who are looking for a number, and I realize that I am going to have to tell them more than I was really wanted to right now. I hope Jasper can feel how conflicted I am about this, that I'm willing to give into their request if it means that they would trust me and that we can possibly be friends.

"Before I tell you how old I am can you tell me how old all of you are? It's only fair." It's a simple request and they all comply. These guys are all children compared to the vampires I have known.

"I don't know how old I am." It's true. I have been since the beginning of time as far as I know. People didn't even count years. Jasper raises an eyebrow at me; he's still looking down at me, searching for who knows what. I hope he can feel the honesty behind my words and how uncomfortable this is for me.

"How do you not know how old you are? That's ludicrous. Everyone, every being must know how old they are."

"Rosalie, she's telling the truth." Jasper says softly, eyes never leaving mine. I offer a small smile in thanks.

"But that doesn't make any sense." Now Edward is showing his curiosity. I'm shifting in my seat, I'm so uncomfortable. What if they don't want to talk to me after this? Things were going good, until all of this age business came up.

"If you're uncomfortable Bella then you don't have to answer." Jasper whispers.

"Its okay" He nods slightly. There is some emotion in his eyes that I can't put my finger on. Does he find me attractive like I do him? Is he interested? He probably won't be after this.

"I am older than all of you, in fact I am older that all of you combined. I was created in a time when years were not kept track of yet and vampires didn't exist yet." I whisper. I know they can all hear me and I notice that they all visibly stiffen. Its' a freaky thing, I get that. But it just adds to my discomfort. I can't take their rejection and disgust. I gather up my things and stand to leave. This is the second day in a row that I am walking away from them.

"I'm sorry." I'm not entirely sure what I'm apologizing for. Maybe for being old? For being a freak even amongst the immortal community? For disgusting them? I'm not sure but I need to get out of here. I need to go home.

"I'll come by and pick you up at 9am tomorrow morning. I've got your address. If that doesn't work let me know." They are all looking at me with large eyes and seemed to be confused as I turn and walk away. I was hoping today would be better but that doesn't seem to be working out so well now does it?!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to find out what the deal is with Alice.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't own Twilight or the characters… but a girl can dream, right?!?!**

**I feel like I'm on a roll right now so I figured I might as well start this chapter. Thank you for the reviews and thanks to Lil' Hill for finding the little things that need to be fixed. **

**I saw New Moon 3 times in 2 days! In my opinion it was made/filmed better than Twilight. I love it!**

I made it all the way home before the tears started falling. It had been a long time since I had had a reason to cry and I wasn't just crying about the Cullen's. It was like once I had started to cry all I could do was think of more reasons to cry, so the tears continued to fall. I cried for the Cullen's, for friends I'd lost through the times for whatever reasons, for not finding love, for losing Him. For my life being complicated and lonely. I had more than enough reasons to cry and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to let it out, well at least some of it. I need to get a better hold on myself. It would not fare well for anyone for me to become overly upset. The balance between war and love would tilt and something bad could happen, and with today's weaponry it could mean extra roadside bombings or school bullies everywhere feel the need to pick on more people. There is no way of knowing what the consequences could be.

There was a sound of twigs snapping outside and when I looked up I could see Alice Cullen standing amongst the tree line. When our eyes met we both had small sad smiles on our faces and we exchange a nod of the head and then she's gone. I'm sure she will ask about the tears tomorrow while we're shopping.

By the time I had started to calm down I realized that school was just finishing for the day and I was alone again till at least tomorrow, and possibly longer. It really depended on if any of the Cullen's wanted to have anything to do with me or not. With that I read until I felt tired enough to go to bed.

The next morning I showered, dressed and decided on some coffee before I headed to the Cullen's. It seems Alice is quite the energizer bunny so a little pick me up sounded like a good idea. So armed with some vanilla coffee that contained more creamer than mocha, I grabbed my purse and made my way to the Cullen's.

I decided to follow the speed limit so that I would have more time to prepare myself for facing the five vampires I was hoping would still befriend me after yesterday's revelations.

The sky was overcast and there was steam rising from the ground that was visible between the trees, it was a bewitching site. My car wrapped around the s-curves that broke through the trees until I reached a small dirt drive hidden between two large evergreen trees. I followed the drive, just barely pressing the gas and took in the site before me. On top of a small hill sat a beautiful Victorian manor at it was surrounded by an array of roses, it was obvious to me that someone really cared about their home and took pride in it's' appearance. When I came to a stop I couldn't take my eyes off of the roses and I start to think that maybe I would like some roses like these behind my house. Maybe I could get some help with them; I'd never had much luck with roses.

This was the moment of truth, I would understand if the Cullen's felt a little freaked about how old I was. It's intimidating to know that there was someone before your entire species had even begun to exist. With slow steps I climbed the small set of stairs to the front door. I'm assuming they were allowing me the human tradition of knocking on the door because I know they all heard me the moment I turned onto their drive and as I listened I noticed that they were being completely silent, waiting on me to knock. Here goes nothing……

Knock. Knock. Knock… No sooner had I pulled my fist from the door did it open to reveal a smiling Edward.

"Hi Bella, won't you come in? Alice will be down in a moment."

"Thank you, Edward. "As I quietly file through the door and walked past him into the entry way I take in the interior of the home. It's spacious, with neutral colors and clean lines, tasteful artwork and family pictures sporadically occupy the walls. I can seem Emmett and Jasper watching television in the living room, they must have put it on mute when I pulled up because I would have heard the television when I got out of the car. They both glance at me and offer a nod as a hello and I offer one in return. They are all so quiet. Okay maybe Alice isn't.

"Hi Bella, how are you doing today?" she offers as she bounces down the stairs towards me.

"I'm good Alice, are you ready to go shop?" With that I hear laughter erupt all around me and I can hear that Rosalie is upstairs but I also can hear two extra voices coming from the back of the house. So there are two additional, what I am assuming to be vampires, in this coven. I wonder why they don't attend Forks' High with the other four.

"Silly Bella, I'm always ready to shop" she says and she has this smile playing on her face that is starting to make me think that I don't really know what I have gotten myself into.

"Oookay. Is it just me and you today?" I'm curious to see if Rosalie will join us, it certainly seemed as if she was warming up to me yesterday. That was before I told them I was an old hag and ran off to go curl up and cry.

Alice hops down the last couple of stairs to stand in front of me "no, Rosalie is just finishing something upstairs and should be down in a few minutes."

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure there were enough seats"

"Not a problem." And I don't hear anything else Alice is saying as I glance past her I notice two people have joined us in the entry way. A woman, with caramel colored hair, looking very much the part of a 40's Hollywood film beauty. She looked very motherly.

Next to her was a man, early 20's I'm assuming, he looked very mature but he was still standing in the shadow of the staircase so I couldn't get a good look at him.

Alice must have noticed my lack of interest in whatever she was saying and turned to see where I was looking.

"Oh Bella, can I introduce our parents, for all intent and purposes, Esme and Carlisle Cullen."

Carlisle Cullen.

That was the name of Him.

The one I thought I loved all those years ago, till one night he didn't show up to meet with me.

Esme walked forward and gave me a light hug "Bella, welcome to our home. We've heard so much about you."

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen, you have a lovely home." It really was a lovely home, not a house, but it actually felt like a home.

"Oh please, call me Esme. May I introduce my husband, Carlisle?"

I looked up at the gentleman before me and could not believe what I was seeing. It was Carlisle, the same, the one I had thought of for so long. It was Him. I had wondered what had become of him. He looked very much the same, just paler and his features were more pronounced.

I knew Jasper could feel my recognition; there was no way for me to block it from him. There wasn't enough time to put any barriers up, the shock was too much. It was confirmed when I heard Jasper and Emmett enter the room. Both keeping quiet, but obviously curious as to what was happening.

"Welcome Bella. It's so nice to meet you." He was talking so quietly, if not for my superb hearing I may not have even heard him. He was looking me over, as if he recognized me but couldn't place me. It would be hard. I don't look the same as I did back then; I had altered my appearance a couple centuries ago. It had helped to draw less attention to myself and made me feel like less people approached me only based on my appearance. But could he see past the changes? For those who have seen me in my true form would still recognize me, but I was always told that you lost most of your memories during the change of becoming a vampire.

I just stood there looking at him. What could I possibly say to Him? I strengthen my shield to that Jasper can't feel me out emotionally. I don't know what my emotions will do to him if I get to upset.

Everyone stood quiet, just looking between us.

"Excuse me, but have we met before? You look like someone I used to know."

"She recognizes you Carlisle. " Edward, probably conversing silently with Jasper.

He looked at me expectantly and still all I could do was stare up at him.

Jasper must have been feeding me some confidence because I caught myself quietly asking him "who do I look like?"

"You look so much like a woman I knew when I was human, but slightly different."

"Who was this woman?"

"Her name was Isabella. She meant a lot to me but I was attacked and I never saw her again."

I can hear Jasper, he breathes out _Isabella _and I'm sure I may have been the only one to hear it. Looking over to Jasper he's also looking down on me but his eyebrow is arched and he's looking at me expectantly.

I turn to look back to Carlisle. This going to be like ripping off the world's biggest band-aid, I had been extremely hurt that night when he didn't show. I now know the cliff note version of what had happened, but that only eases the pain slightly. I'm going to need to show him the me that he remembers. Talk about awkward.

"Hello Carlisle, it's been a long time." I lift the veil of my disguise, to the Cullen's it will look as if a shimmering curtain is being lifted off of me, and once it's up there is a collective gasp.

"Isabella" and that's all Carlisle says before he takes a step forward and wraps his arms around me. Now I feel really awkward, Esme is standing a foot away and everyone is still looking at me. The curiosity is so heavy in the air that it could be cut with a knife, and that means more questions.

"Carlisle." It's nothing more than a smiled whisper. I may have been hurt, but he recognized me. He _remembered _me, when so many of his memories must have been lost or faded he remembered _me._

"Bella, can you fix whatever it is you did? It's making me a little uneasy." Oh, I forgot. "Sorry Jasper. Just covering my ass." And I lower my shield, but not completely. I still don't want Edward anywhere near my head; my brain is still in shock.

"More importantly how do you know each other?" Rosalie, she can't help it. It's obvious that she protects her family fiercely.

"When you were human?" And let the questioning begin. It's going to be like the Acquisitions all over again.

"Yes Edward. We met while I was human." Well at least Carlisle appears to be up to answering some of the questions they have.

"Bella, there is so much to talk about, why don't we go shopping another time. You can stay over tonight and learn about each other. Wait, do you sleep? Well I guess if you need to sleep you can do that here to. We can turn it into a slumber party later. What do you say Bella? I know Rose thinks it's a great idea."

"Slow down Alice." Edward instructed while he wrapped an arm around her waist. It seemed to calm her slightly. Can you give a vampire Ritalin?

"Why don't we move this to the living room where we can sit?" offers Esme. I follow the Cullen's in to the living room and I find myself sitting on the love seat next to Jasper, Rosalie is sitting on Emmett's lap off towards the corner, Alice is still bouncing slightly on the main couch, situated between Edward and Esme. Carlisle is perched on the arm of the couch next to Esme but still looking at me, and he's smiling. In fact, no one looks angry or even disgusted. Just curious. Maybe I had been wrong about yesterday.

"So what do you say Bella? You know it really bothers me that I can't see you." She's pouting, and what does she mean by seeing me?

"Um, I sleep. It's more about relaxing and re-energizing but I don't need to sleep nightly, so I guess I could stay." It really would be nice to catch up with Carlisle and to get to know the rest of the Cullen's better. Wait, this is the perfect opportunity to ask Alice what her deal is.

"Hey Alice. What do you mean you have trouble seeing me?"

She's so happy. "I can see the future Bella. Just not yours, why is that?"

"It's probably my shield, and that explains a lot. Can you see anyone or anything?" I can't help but laugh slightly and shake my head at her. Her off the wall comments now make a lot more sense and I'm curious. She's a freaking psychic!

"My visions are subjective, they show the path a person is on but the future is always changing. The smallest change can change everything."

"Well that makes sense." What else am I supposed to say? She can see the future. Enough said.

"So how do you know Carlisle?" Leave it to Jasper to cut straight to business. But his tone holds something, he sounds angry, or dare I say jealous?

"Um, I met him when he was human and we were friends?" Friends sound like a question and I turn to look at Carlisle. I immediately shield Carlisle, I don't know how much he wants his family to know, and we don't need Edward to be privy to our history if Carlisle doesn't wish to share it with his family.

"Was that really necessary Bella?" Apparently Edward doesn't like not being allowed in everyone's head.

"What good would it be to tell a story if you already know the ending Edward?" It's better than telling him that Carlisle and I may not want to share all of our past with them. I'll leave the decision on how much we share to Carlisle, it is his family.

"What are you talking about Edward?" Carlisle asks.

"Bella, or Isabella, has shielded your thoughts from me." Edwards's aggravation is clear as he says my name. I don't need Jasper's ability to know that he isn't happy that I can block his ability.

"How is that possible? How is it possible for you to be here with us now Isabella?" Carlisle sounds hurt, I don't blame him. He had probably thought that I had died centuries ago. I had never told him I was immortal, that I was so different from him when we were together.

"I'm immortal Carlisle, and please call me Bella. No one has spoken my full name since before you disappeared." It stung a little, to hear Isabella come from his lips. It had been so long, I refused to respond to Isabella during my heartbreak after Carlisle's disappearance. We had felt so strongly for each other and our relationship was before it's time. With Carlisle I could speak my mind; we would converse over religion, politics and the ways that the world was changing. It was obvious that Carlisle was both interested and respected my opinions on such matters. Our relationship was unheard of because women were not valued for their minds or opinions. It just shows how special of a bond that Carlisle and I had shared.

"Isabella" Jasper tries it out, it's almost inaudible and at the same time Carlisle tries "Bella". This whole situation is frustrating and confusing. If I wasn't so involved I would have probably walked away and waited till someone offered me a summarized version once everything was straightened out. An eerie silence falls over the room. Nobody knows what to say so we all sit back and stare at each other.

"So Bella was your sugar momma then?" Fucking Emmett! It's obvious that he is only trying to lighten the mood, but of all the stupid shit to say, and with Esme sitting in the room! I feel the familiar heat crawl up my neck and into my cheeks and I'm sure my face is almost the same shade of red as my car. As my face reddens my irritation at the situation is starting to change to anger. I need to find a way to calm down, and I don't think telling everyone to shut up is appropriate.

"I remember that blush." Uh! Carlisle. I'm about to pull him outside so we can speak alone, his family doesn't need to be present. We could be done with this conversation a whole lot sooner and talk about much more pleasant topics.

Everyone is now looking intently between Carlisle and I, they are no doubt thinking about my reaction at school, and I know that Carlisle is thinking about the time that he had decided to go against propriety and kissed me. My blush darkens as I get lost in the memory.

_I'm walking through the woods to meet Carlisle at our clearing; it's easier for us to meet at twilight and away from the village. Less eyes following us. As I close in on the clearing I can see the glow of Carlisle's lantern filtering through the trees._

_When I break through the tree line I spot Carlisle sitting on a small quilt near the center of the clearing. He's waiting for me and he's brought apples with him._

"_Hello Carlisle" I offer as I take a seat next to him._

"_Hello Isabella, I'm glad you could meet with me." He knows I wouldn't rather be anywhere else and his greeting is the same each evening when we meet. We have been meeting in the clearing like this for about a month, but we had originally met at a florist cart in the town square when our eyes met over a basket of roses a few weeks before. _

_It seemed that we were a perfect match. We were able to learn from each other about so many things. I had seen so much in my life time and I would offer information to him when I was sure it wouldn't raise suspicion, he would tell me about the hunting parties that his father was a part of, trying to rid the world of monsters. Vampires, werewolves and immortals as a whole. _

"_Would you like an apple? I picked them on my way here." Carlisle is always so thoughtful of others._

"_Yes, please. Thank you Carlisle." And I take a small bite savoring the crisp, sweet fruit he has gifted me with._

"_Isabella, can things always be this way? Between us? The easy flowing conversations and relaxing times together?" Where is this coming from I wonder._

"_We can continue this way for as long as you wish Carlisle. I'm not planning on going anywhere." Why would I leave? I have never felt for a man what I feel for Carlisle. I mean I've been with men throughout the centuries that I was attracted to but they were to help pass the time, to ease the loneliness that I constantly had felt. With Carlisle though I feel as if I could be content spending the rest of his life just eating apples and discussing the world._

"_Thank you Isabella. It warms me to have you here. You mean so much to me." He cares for me! I think I love him, but I never thought that he could possibly think of me as anything other than a friend, or possibly a sister. _

"_You mean a lot to me to Carlisle." I whisper back shyly. He leans in towards me; oh Zeus is he going to kiss me?_

_His breath washes across my face and I can smell him. He smells like our clearing after a spring rain. Clean and full of life. _

"_May I kiss you Isabella? To share my affections with you?" he asks._

"_You may" I breathe and then I can feel his lips on mine. They are warm and soft against mine and he's gentle and I can feel his affection for me. This kiss is different than any other kiss I have ever had. There are true emotions behind it, not just lust and need. It's a chaste kiss but it holds so much meaning._

_As he pulls away he runs the back of his hands over my cheeks, feeling the warmth that my deep blush is providing. _

"_I love it when you blush; the color reminds me of roses. So soft." _

As the memory fades I bring my eyes back up to meet Carlisle's and there is a small smile on his face.

"My affections" I whisper and he just nods in acknowledgement. He knew exactly what I had been thinking about.

"Affections?" Jasper says, and it sounds harsh coming from his mouth.

"Perhaps I should explain. I met Isabella in my village when I was human. She immediately befriended me and we struck an easy friendship. We would discuss anything that came to mind and we learned a lot from each other. We would meet in town and just walk around the square conversing quietly. After a couple of weeks we began meeting at a clearing that I knew of. Each night at twilight we would meet and talk till just before dawn. We grew to mean a lot to each other and then one night my father asked me to take part of a hunting party that was tracking "monsters of the night" as he had called vampires. I was bitten and because of such unable to meet Isabell… sorry. Bella, I was unable to meet Bella in the clearing, or in town. I vanished and I never saw her or heard of her. Until now."

Well Carlisle wasn't lying. He left out the kiss but I understand. It was so long ago, we have both moved on and there is no need to hash out such details in front of his family.

Every head turns to my direction and I can feel my blush beginning to return as I nod in agreement with Carlisle's story.

"That's so cute. Carlisle liked older women!" I swear I'm going to find a way to get under Emmett's skin! Obviously he lacks a filter between his brain and his mouth!

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, how can you be so incredibly rude?" Esme scolds.

Carlisle is just looking at him disapprovingly and Rosalie reaches to smack him in the back of the head.

"It wasn't like that Emmett. It was a very long time ago and Carlisle thought that I was human." I feel the need to defend myself, even though my voice is small.

"What are you anyways?" Rosalie, always digging for information, and not so subtly if I may say so.

"I would prefer, Rosalie, if you could wait for that particular explanation until I'm comfortable in doing so. But I'll remind you, I'm not a threat. I'm just extremely cautious, I haven't really had much experience with being able to share who I am so fully with others in a very long time." They all nod in understanding and I'm thankful that they aren't pushing me to tell my life story right now.

"Are you hungry Bella? We've been talking for so long." Well I didn't realize I was hungry until Alice mentioned it.

"Actually, yes, I guess I am a little hungry. Should I eat lunch and come back when I'm finished?"

"Oh no silly. We can have something delivered. What should we order?" Alice really needs to stop calling me silly, I'm older than her and she's talking to me like I'm a child.

"We Alice? Are you going to eat with me?"

"No I'm not going to eat with you, but it's for our cover. How odd would it look to have a small order my

"I guess I'll just order a salad, and if I'm staying I'll just order and extra one for later."

"I can order that for you Bella, if you'd like." Esme. I'm glad that she is not uncomfortable around me. Carlisle hasn't moved much and since the cat is out of the bag I release him from my shield. Emmett and Rosalie are headed up the stairs to what I assume is their bed room. Edward looks more comfortable now that he can hear all of his family. I lower my shield briefly to ask him such and he smiles at me and nod. Alice looks up at me "I know what you want for lunch Bella. I had a vision of two Greek salads. Zorbas I believe the packaging said." She looks happy now that she has had a vision of me. I guess I can let her have her fun once in a while.

"That sounds great Alice." I answer with a smile. It seems like the atmosphere is lighting around us.  
"I'll go order right now" and with that Esme walks off towards the kitchen with Alice following closely behind her.

That leaves me in the living room with Edward, Jasper and Carlisle. We continue to just sit and look at each other till Edward gets up and walks up stairs.

Jasper and Carlisle and I continue to sit and look at each other and my thoughts get the best of me and I giggle.

"What's so amusing Bella?" Jasper asks. His southern drawl seems to be more pronounced outside of school and internally I am swooning. My thoughts repeat themselves.

_Mr. Former Attraction please me Mr. Current Attraction…._

"Nothing, my thoughts are just getting the best of me" I respond and Jasper raises a brow. I take this time to look and admire him. Jasper truly is a beautiful creature.

A throat clears and I return my attention to Carlisle.

"I'll be up in my study. Bella I'd like to talk to you later if that is okay. I'm sure there are still a lot of questions between us."

"That would be wonderful Carlisle." And I smile at him and follow him with my eyes as he turns the corner and also heads upstairs.

"You are a hard person to read Bella, even when you aren't using your shield. Your emotions are unlike any I have ever felt before." Jasper has me curious and he seems to want to say more but is holding himself back.

"I'm curious Jasper, what is it that you feel from me that is so different."

"Your emotions. There are always the same two in the forefront and anything else you feel seems to be an add-on. The main two, anger and love, never change, never weaken or grow. Why is that? Personally emotions like those seem to be conflicting." My eyes go wide. I'd never met an empath before so I couldn't be prepared for what he may possibly have felt from me. But love and anger? With enough pieces of the puzzle I'm sure he could figure out who I am.

"I don't know. I don't feel conflicted." I make sure that I'm pushing my uneasy forward, hoping that he senses it and stays quiet.

"It's no big deal, it just feels different. Um, would you like to take a walk with me until your lunch arrives Bella?" Yes, he got the message.

"That sounds nice Jasper." And with that we stand and head out of the house and into the yard.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Twilight or any of its character.**

**Sorry that my updates are far between but I have been reading updates to the stories I am reading, I have 3 kids, I just got a job (but haven't started yet) and I have been planning for Jingle Bell Bash in Seattle which is this Saturday and I figured I should update before then.**

**Thank you for all of the reviews. I can't explain how much they mean to me. Thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think and what you would like to see happen. I take suggestions seriously and if I can find the perfect home for them in the story I will be more than happy to use them. **

**I can't stop listening to Muse!!!**

Jasper and I walked in silence from the Cullen's house and out into the woods, I'm sure neither of us wanted everyone to hear our conversation. I know that Jasper had questions for me and I had a couple for him as well, but mostly I just liked being in his company.

We had walked at a brisk pace until we came to a small area of fallen trees that had been overgrown with moss. I crawled over a couple of logs until I was more centered in the small clearing and sat down. The sun was fighting to make an appearance and Jasper hung around the tree line just looking at me, appearing to be bashful? It appeared as such as he toed the dirt and looked up at me from beneath his lashes.

"Jasper, if we are going to have a conversation it would be easier to talk face to face at a closer distance than across a clearing." I offered a small smile, why was he hanging back amongst the standing trees?

"I would like nothing more to join you but I am worried as to what your reaction may be if the sun shines upon me." Was that all? That's fixable.

"You are not the first vampires that I have socialized with Jasper. I know what vampires look like in the sun. Don't worry." Did they really think I had never encountered another member of their race before? I'll have to make clear that I know what they are, down to the dirtiest details. They should feel free to act themselves while I'm around.

He just lifted his head and began walking towards me.

It wasn't until he was about six feet away that the sun found him. He was glorious, and he must have felt the attraction because when I peeled my eyes from his frame he was smirking at me. This whole empath situation was going to take some getting used to if didn't want to have to shield myself all of the time.

"What has you frustrated?" He'll know if I'm lying, so here goes nothing.

"I've never been around an empath before and I was thinking that it will take some getting used because it would be frustrating to have to shield myself all the time." He was nodding in understanding.

"It took me a while, and I am the empathy. But don't shield yourself." He responded.

"Does it make you uneasy to not be able to feel someone?" I could understand that, if I was able to feel everyone all of the time but then there was an individual who could turn that on and off for themselves.

"I guess it makes me uncomfortable, l feel vulnerable. But your emotions are different since there are two constants that never waver. It's refreshing, the way your emotions run. They're so strong. It's like a treat for me, nothing is hiding, and it's all out there for me." He looked like he would be blushing if he was able, but in actuality I was blushing enough for the two of us. He said I was a treat for him, but obviously not in an edible fashion.

When I turned my gaze from my surroundings to Jasper he was looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. He was embarrassed, and it was adorable, and with feeling that he started turning back to me with that smirk in place.

I just bit my lip and continued to gaze up into his eyes while he gazed down on me. Could anything, would anything happen between us? Could he be attracted to me for me? Not who I was or my appearance? I came outside with Jasper as myself, no mask to hide behind because I feel comfortable with him, but how could I be sure? How would I know that if he learned who I truly was that he wouldn't try to take advantage of me? I've been alone for forever, and I don't know anything about a relationship. Where are all these feelings coming from?

I look away first, and I feel Jasper take my hand.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I…I…" I turn to look back up at him. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"We're just talking, am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, you're fine Jasper. I seem to be making myself uncomfortable." I offer a small smile.

"Can I ask what is causing the discomfort? Maybe I could help you." What do I tell him? I don't know how he feels and I don't want to act like a crush stricken girl and scare the shit out of him.

"I'm not used to being able to talk freely. I'm used to socializing with humans and having to be careful about what I say. I'll take you up on your offer though." I don't really want to leave yet.

I can feel myself relax and it's like a warm blanket being wrapped around me. It's a nice feeling.

I feel comfortable with Jasper, I trust him, though I do not know him and I know that he hasn't fabricated these feeling, that they are my own.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome Bella" That southern drawl may just be the end of me.

"Can I ask you a question Jasper? You don't have to answer if it's too personal."

"I can't promise you an answer, but I'll try my best. I trust you." He trusts me? Like I trust him, even though we don't know each other? Amazing. I know he has feelings for me, but are they the same as mine I wonder.

"Why do you have so many bite marks? I can see them on your hands and neck and I'm assuming that there are many more that I can't see." I chance a sideways glance at him. I know it's personal, but I really want to know why he was pained so.

He's silent and seems to be thinking. Either about what he should say or if he should say anything at all. After a few moments he breaks the silence.

"I'll tell you my story Bella but I'm worried that it will change what opinion you may have formed of me. If I tell you my story would you be more inclined to share yours? We could keep this between us."

I didn't even need to think about it, if he was willing to share the deepest secrets of his life with me then I could share mine with him. I'd need to make sure he was okay with me from shielding him from Edward until I was ready to tell everyone about my life.

"That sounds fair, but would you be willing to let me shield you from Edward until I am ready to tell everyone my story?"

"Shield me from Edward?" He says it slowly, testing the idea in the air.

"Do you have any idea how wonderful that would be? To think freely in my home? Even at school? I might get used to it and never want it to end." He sounds serious as he finishes and is gazing in my eyes and I understand what he is really saying. I smile at him, it's the biggest smile I think, to ever cross my features. From this moment forward things will be different between Jasper and I.

I sit holding Jasper's hand as he tells me about joining the Army at a young age, Maria and her sisters, the Southern Wars and the things he had done. How it was his position and persona during the Southern Wars that earned him his God of War nickname. I can tell he is ashamed of many of the things he has done and he shouldn't feel so. Its human nature, instinct to do what is needed to survive. I concentrate on how I feel for Jasper and try to push it towards him as much as I can. When he's done I stretch up and kiss his cheek. I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been for him.

"What were you thinking about Bella?"

"You, Jasper."

And the next thing I know his lips are on mine. Fierce, fire on ice, all consuming and passionate and I feel loved. Is he projecting feelings to me? I can't believe he feels so strongly for me in such a short amount of time. But do I love Jasper? And in that instant I realize that I do. I have never in my life felt a pull to another being like I do Jasper and as he pulls me to him I can't help but to think how perfectly well we fit together. As if we were made for each other. All too soon we are pulling away, but his forehead is rested on mine. I revel in the closeness and the emotions that he is blanketing me in. But I know it is my time to tell my story and I know that Jasper won't feel any different about me when I'm done. I can just feel it. Is this what it is like to find your soul mate? An instant pull and connection to another.

"Jasper, I'm a goddess." I'll throw that out there into the open and go from there. I know since Jasper is such a history buff that I won't need to go over every single moment of my existence right now, and I feel the promise of forever. We could have a never-ending forever together.

"You're from Greece, and you are a Goddess. Huh?" He's thinking it through.

"Goddess of what exactly?" Will he think that we are perfect for each other like I do?

"War and Love" It's a whisper, but it's out there and I know that he heard me.

"I thought that Aries was the God of War and Aphrodite was the Goddess of Love. " He looks at me. "How?"

"Everything you learned about mythology was a lie. Men did all the story telling and writing when I came to be. They would have never believed that a woman was Goddess of War, and they loved the ideas of Gods that were men."

"So there are others like you?"

I cannot stop the anger that is starting to boil, or the tears that are beginning to fill my eyes. My "family" story would make the ultimate Jerry Springer episode.

"I was cast from my family when I was created. I do not know much of them except that I am the only one of my kind that walks the earth while my "family" resides over Earth from their thrones." He gives my hand a small squeeze of support as I continue. "When we are created we emerge from the clouds in the form in which you see now. Our gifts are ours when we are "born" so to speak. I am the only one to be created with the power over two of life's entities; others are born to reign over one. When I would not relinquish my holding to Aries I was cast down. To this day Aries claims what isn't his, what resides in me. I am weaker than the others though, for being on earth for so long. But I've been told that I will feel my full potential when the timing is right. I just don't know what that means in all honesty. I'm a cast away enigma, even in the world of immortals."

"You've been alone all of this time?" He looks heartbroken, but so do I and I know that he can feel what I am.

"I have been for the most part. I have had companionship with vampires before, but it did not fare well. A loved one died and I was blamed, we haven't spoken since." Tears silently fall down my cheeks, I've never been this open with anyone before, never spoken my story out loud, always worrying about who might hear.

"How long ago was that Bella? It's breaking me to think of how long you have been alone."

"The loved one that passed was Alexander the Great, he fell in battle and Tanya thought that I could have prevented it because of who I am."

"Tanya? As in Tanya Denali?" He knows her?

"You know Tanya and her sisters? Were they well the last time you saw them?" I can't help but be somewhat excited. I have not heard head or tail of them since we separated.

"They are well. We see them often. They are vegetarians like us and live in Alaska. We consider them family."

"Tanya is a vegetarian now? She must have learned her lesson then." I muse.

"What lesson is that?" Jasper asks.

"Do you know what Tanya's power is Jasper?" It dawns on me, has he been with Tanya or her sisters? They were always free flowing with their "love".

"She and her sisters are succumbi, an incredibly annoying talent that drives my empathic abilities insane." He knew I was curious and answered my unspoken question. He had never been involved with any of them.

"They are, but did they mention how their power came to be? They were not reborn with it."  
"Not born with it? Bella we do not grow powers, either we have them when we are turned or we do not."

I smile up at Jasper and give him a quick peck; I never thought that this conversation could go as well as it has been.

"They were all changed together, Tanya and her sisters, and shortly after awakening they came across me and bit me. It did nothing to me, but as you know they are irresistible with the gentlemen." I wiggle my eye brows at him, trying to lighten the mood.

"You gave them that gosh awful talent? Bella do you have any idea the horror that you have released on the world?" He says as he starts laughing, and soon I'm joining him.

Through my laughter I add "I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! And if you think that it is bad now you should have seen right after they realized the power they had. The Trojan horse only worked because every male within the fortress was trying to recover from the Denali sisters all nighters. It was horrid!"

"Oh God, I can't begin to imagine" Jasper forces out.

"That's oh Goddess to you, and you have no idea."

"Yes Ma'am" He smirks and starts moving towards me.

"Jasper!" Its sounds harsh but he can tell that it's all in fun.

Before anymore teasing can be done his lips are on mine.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N:

I am so so so sorry that there has not been an update. I had a concert, Christmas, in-laws visiting, I started a job and I am having semi-health related problems with one of my children right now. I am planning on updating before the end of January but life is very busy right now and I need to focus on my family. I hope you all can understand. I don't know how long it will be till life will even itself back out so it may only be one update a month for awhile. Again I am so extremely sorry!


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